Just the other day, a picture of me as a 3-year-old sent by my parents really got me choked up. With just weeks to go before the arrival of baby, making the big step of becoming a parent has really been on my mind. Am I ready? Will I know what to do? I am a true believer that one's parental instincts (i.e. hormones!!) will kick in once baby is born, but right now, it is a little overwhelming and worrisome (will I be one of those who just doesn't have a parental instinct?) I know that most first-time parents think of these things, and everything does turn out in the end. YouTuber ShayCarl's advice for parenting sets me at ease, because it's simple and is aligned with my values: 1) Do everything that you can do to ensure that your children know that you love them unconditionally, and 2) With regards to parenting situations, do your best with the knowledge you have at the time, and don't worry about it in hindsight.
New parenting fears aside, the reason I got choked up at that picture of me as a 3-year-old has to do with the fact that for the first time, I looked at that picture through the eyes of my parents. I like to think that I tried my best to make sure my parents knew how much I appreciated everything they did when I was growing up. However, like all children, of course there were times when things they did for us went unnoticed, unappreciated, and even unwanted. I guess it really is true that you don't really truly appreciate what your parents did for you until you become a parent yourself. So, THANK YOU so much, Mom and Dad! I can only hope to be as good of a parent as you both are.
On the other side of things, even though my husband and I will of course be consumed with the precious miracle of life we have created, I believe that we must look forward into the longterm as well. What I mean by this has to do with the saying that "children are only borrowed." I believe my husband and I should always have in mind that we will raise our children to grow up and lead their own lives - in other words, we need to be able to let go of them so that they can go forth and flourish in the world. Our children, no matter how many we have, will always be a part of our lives, yes, but they will not BE our lives. What came first was the love and joy of the relationship between my husband and I. Thus, this relationship needs to be nourished even through the tough days and nights of parenting. This nourishing is crucial because once we have an empty nest, we are left with each other. I don't want to neglect our relationship over the parenting/welfare of our children. Having this in mind will make the separation easier, when the time comes.
Ready or not, here we go!
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